Truths of Team Tobirama
by Zise Stars
Summary: A behind the scenes look at the madhouse known as Team Tobirama!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. But I wish I did

1\. The reason Tobirama had worn groin protecting armour was because of Hiruzen. And his penchant for shuriken.

2\. Koharu had had a crush on Kagami Uchiha once. On an unrelated note, Homura and Hiruzen had once tried to singe Kagami's eyebrows off.

3\. Team Tobirama was probably the most well balanced team in Konoha. Hiruzen's horrible jokes lightened his teammates up, Homura's calm disposition kept Koharu and Hiruzen from arguing too much and Koharu's well placed punches got her team to take the mission seriously-and stopped them from being such perverts. That applied to her sensei as well.

4\. That didn't stop their sensei from wondering if he could murder the exasperating trio in a 'training accident.'

5\. The reason Koharu and Homura were so hard on Tsunade is because she was a bitter reminder of their teammates death.

6\. When Tobirama had died Hiruzen had been pale, Koharu had cried for three hours, and Homura sat and held her hand trying to hold back his own tears.

7\. Tobirama had learned how to encourage his students to carry out D-rank missions. With numerous threats and quite a few water dragons.

8\. The first time the trio had ever worked together, it had been on a large, extravagant prank on their sensei. It involved chilli sauce, ice cream and a very pretty waitress.

9\. Koharu has all the men in her team whipped. None of the men will admit it but Hashirama was very amused to see the two boys and not to mention his own brother sporting bruises after an unfortunate hot spring incident.

10\. On the anniversary of their sensei's death, all three would take their children and later their grandchildren, to the memorial stone and tell stories of a kind but strict sensei with lecherous tastes ( _which_ , they tell their children, _he hid well)_ After Hiruzen fell to Orochimaru, the stories and trips stopped.

I know that I may have tweaked Tobirama's personality a bit, but hey! No guy is perfect! Please read and review, if only to flame!


	2. Overprotective

'Hiruzen, Homura,' began the albino. 'You have precisely three minutes to explain why in _Kami's sake_ you tried to singe Kagami Uchiha's eyebrows off.'

The spectacled genin of the two shuffled his feet nervously. His spiky haired comrade on the other hand, glared up mutinously at his sensei. 'We have the right to remain silent.'

'What are the two of you? Civilians who graffited a shop front?' Rubbing his temples tiredly, the silver-haired shinobi asked himself yet again why he had taken a genin team. Oh yeah, he had lost a bet. 'Look, all I want to know is _why._ Nothing I'm sure justifies _burning_ someone's eyebrows off.' _'_

Hiruzen growled. 'He had it coming. Stuck-up Uchiha. Damn Uchiha. Uchiha rat. Uchiha.'

 _Oh no. Don't tell me. They were listening to my rants of that clan?! Of all the things to remember!_ Tobirama rubbed his temples again. He was going to have to set this straight.

'Look you two twits. Those things I said about the Uchiha clan. I wasn't serious. They don't really have a trophy for being the most stuck-up. They don't actually eat puppies for breakfast. They don't actually have harems...'

'Yes they do!' This time it was Homura's turn to glare. 'And he was trying to get Koharu into it!'

Tobirama blinked. 'Come again?'

Homura puffed up self-righteously. 'You know what that scum-sack...'

'...bag,' corrected Tobirama absently.

'...did,' finished Homura. ' _You know what he did.'_

 _Ok. Just over-imaginative kids. No need to kill the Uchiha. Koharu's a big girl after all._

 _'_ HE KISSED HER.'

Tobirama gaped at them. 'Ok, forget what I just said. We're going Uchiha hunting.'

Ok, that's a chapter done. Special thanks to Duesal Bladesinger and his kind words and to the guest reviewer who recommended that I upload another chapter. Hope to have more of your wonderful reviews in the near future!


	3. Koharu Krushes

**_Koharu Krushes._**

Two brown haired boys stood to attention, their eyes bright with determination, hands glued to their sides and chins firm. Meanwhile, their sensei paced up and down before them ,dropping pearls of wisdom and pep talking the crud out of them.

'Boys, this is a personal S-rank mission. We might come back bloody and beaten. We might not even come back at all. But, if we succeed, we'll have new tales to tell. This'll even test your skills of espionage and give you a good sense of when to duck. And run. And beg for mercy. Now,' pink eyes rested on the genin. 'Are we ready?'

'Yeah!' Hiruzen said enthusiastically. Homura looked less certain but nodded anyway.

'Good. Now. To the hot springs!'

*****"

'This is the life...' sighed Koharu as she lowered herself into the steaming spring. Smiling blissfully, she dug in her bag. Sighs of contentment turned into a string of impressive curse words as she realised she didn't bring her soap in. 'Humf '

Wrapping a towel around herself, she slipped back into the changing room and got the soap. As she was about to turn back in, she felt the very familiar chakra of her teammates. Heading towards the female side of the hot springs.

'I thought Hokage-sama put a three month ban on them from coming to the hot springs?' Now actively suspicious, the bun haired girl grabbed a robe and started out.

Exiting the bathhouse, Koharus dark eyes searched for her three teammates. Child... Nope...cat... Nope...pervertedly giggling bushes... Nope...

Wait, what?

Three shrubs giggled in pervy glee as they peered through the fence slats. Thin streams of blood leaked slowly from their stems. The best part? No one was the wiser! They could just relax and enjoy the show...

'Bleeding bushes?' Came a deathly calm voice behind them. Stiffening in sudden fear, all of them shook like...well, leaves. 'Good. Then that means you can feel pain.' Koharu cracked her knuckles

Hashirama watched his beaten brother and the two boys limp to the restaurant with a smug looking kunoichi in tow. Shaking with sudden mirth, he continued on his way.

For a genius, Tobirama sure is stupid.


End file.
